Unconditional Love Exercise

Unconditional Love Exercise2019-08-06T09:12:58-05:00


Hi Robert,

I have read your books and have been recently trying the unconditional love exercise that you describe, but with only minimal results.

Here are the details: I become lucid in a dream. I pretty quickly look to the sky and yell, “Hey dream, let me feel unconditional love for 1 minute!” (I added the 1 minute phrase recently because I thought it might make a difference). Then, I am partially filled with some positive energy (which feels very nice) and in my most recent attempts it is like I am being transported somewhere (It literally looks like I am traveling through a star wars light speed tunnel through space). And then, it fizzles out after about 10 or 15 seconds (well under a minute) and I am left underwhelmed with a thought and feeling like “Well, That didn’t work.”

Most recently, I continue dreaming after this occurs: I appear in the dream where I initially became lucid and I am still fully lucid, so it is not like I am getting to excited and waking up (That used to happen to me and I know how it feels and this is not that). In my most recent attempt (last night),  I tried the unconditional love request at 3 distinct times during a very long lucid dream (where I filled in the gaps between attempts with typical lucid dream stuff (talking to dream figures, etc.)). However, each attempt yielded pretty much the same results described above. My only explanation comes from your books and lectures: Maybe my subconscious does not think I’m ready for the experience and is therefore protecting me by aborting early? Please let me know if you have any ideas, suggestions, and/or advice.

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Congrats on your lucid dreams!  Glad to provide some feedback.

For others reading this, I have suggested lucid dreamers can ask to have a ‘conceptual experience’.  For example, a person interested in enhancing their spiritual understanding could ignore the dream figures and ask the unconscious mind or larger awareness in the lucid dream, ‘Hey, let me experience unconditional love!’ — and then normally the lucid dream changes and they begin to have the ‘experience’.  Some people have reported profound experiences, saying that they never understood the true depths of unconditional love, before they asked for this in a lucid dream.

As I mention in my books, lucid dreaming shows us that this ‘state’ has rules and principles, which we need to understand in order to explore and experiment successfully.  One such rule involves the importance of wording.  I want to point out that if you asked, ““Hey dream, let me feel unconditional love for 1 minute!” — then this may result in a different experience, than this intent, “Hey dream, let me experience unconditional love for 1 minute!”

Just the simple change in the request (asking ‘to feel’ versus asking ‘to experience’) may be enough to alter the result significantly.  So, everyone should always look at the wording of their request, and tweak it (in future experiments) to see what, if anything, changes.

The second point about your experience, I have to wonder about the situation at the time of the request, since you state, “I become lucid in a dream. I pretty quickly look to the sky and yell, “Hey dream, let me feel unconditional love for 1 minute!”  I have noticed that some people become lucid, and within seconds launch into their goal (whatever it might be).  Some do this because they ‘believe’ that the lucid dream will end quickly — some do this because of the excess energy in trying to achieve the goal (which suggests an element of fear in not achieving it, or neediness or grasping) — whatever the case, a person has to look at the resulting experience in light of their own ‘mindset’ at the time.

For this reason, I encourage people to become lucid, then stabilize the lucid dream — which means you create a good foundation for your exploration, you settle your mind and clearly recall your intent, and experiment thoughtfully and mindfully (not suddenly, like someone grasping for something).

This idea of a ‘mindset’ in lucid dreaming also connects with my chapter on the ‘Reality Creating principles in lucid dreaming’ — which I see as Beliefs, Expectations/Emotions, Focus, Intent/Will and the X or larger awareness/unconscious.  Since lucid dreaming is mentally reflective, it reflects back to you, your expectations.  If you ‘expect’ disappointment, then it reflects that back (normally). So a lucid dream experience has to be understood in light of the person’s ‘mindset’ at the time of the experience.

Finally, since you mentioned that it “fizzles” out soon, I would also remove the “one minute” clause to your request (i.e., I pretty quickly look to the sky and yell, “Hey dream, let me feel unconditional love for 1 minute!”).  If you want the ‘depth’ of the experience, I would not put a time limitation on it.  So the others reading this understand, I have mentioned in my talks and books, that when I decide to explore something utterly profound, I often request that I have the experience for “one minute” — and then normally the lucid dream profoundly changes, I feel the depth of the experience, and at one minute – boom – I’m back in a regular lucid dream.

Again, congrats on your lucid dream explorations!  By considering these points, you may find the one thing that needs changing to allow you to take this deeper, and experience, “unconditional love”.

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