At dawn on Sunday, June 23, I had another induced lucid dream (the third induced lucid dream in nine days and the fifth in four weeks). Nevertheless, the experience of this dream has been the most frightening since I started to have lucid dreams on May 27 and I would like to ask you some questions about it.
I woke up at 5 am, meditated for ten minutes (I have been practicing meditation consistently for two years) and went back to bed. I applied the MILD technique for the first time and, to my surprise, it worked.
In the dream, I was in a beautiful, cozy house with white walls. I walked to the kitchen. When I got there, I saw something strange: there was a painting on the wall, a still life, and the images in it kept changing in appearance, size and color: it was as if the painting was alive.
I thought, “This is a dream!” Then I decided to do a reality check. I made one of the glasses on the kitchen float. Then I tried, unsuccessfully, to make some kitchen towels float too. I thought, “Why does the glass float, and the towels do not? Is this really a dream? ”
I decided to do a third reality check. I tried to make my own body float and I was successful, then I began to float around the house. I remembered that my previous lucid dream had collapsed because I had not modulated my emotions, and to prevent this from happening again I rubbed my hands together. I thought: “How incredible! The texture of my hands in my dreams is identical to reality! ”
Then I remembered the possibility of giving up control of my dream to my larger awareness, by shouting “I surrender to the highest!” (described in your book “Lucid Dreaming, Plain and Simple”). I tried to shout to the dream: “I surrender to the highest!”, but I realized that I had difficulty speaking, as if speaking below the water. I made an effort and managed to articulate the sentence. As soon as I did it, one of the most terrifying experiences of my life began.
In addressing my larger awareness, I expected, perhaps erroneously, an enlightening, sacred, pleasant, educative experience. However, what I saw in front of me was the face of a kind of demon, who whispered, ironically, something related to “surrender to the highest” (I could not understand entirely what he said).
The most frightening and curious thing was that the face of the demon was very much like mine, as if I saw my own face, distorted, reflected in a mirror. Most interesting was that it blocked about half of my field of vision, but beyond that dark figure it was still possible to see the white-walled luminous house. Then I decided to run away from the demon and woke up.
I thought of two possibilities for this kind of reaction from my “conscious unconscious” to my question, and would be grateful if I could know your opinion about them:
– my question was somehow “contaminated” by an unconscious fear, originating in my belief system (which may explain my difficulty in speaking). The response I therefore received was a reflection of my own fears;
– my larger awareness understood my question and showed me, contrary to the pleasant experience I expected, a serious internal issue that I need to resolve in order to make progress (since educational experiences are not always pleasant).
The final question: that same night, when I applied the MILD technique again, I became lucid in a strange, gray environment that reminded me of old TV statics when TV broadcasts ended. What I saw is very reminiscent of what you described in your books as “the void,” the interval between the end of a dream and the formation of another. This leads me to conclude that when we apply the lucid dream induction techniques there is a chance element involved, since we may became lucid in a dream in progress as “in the void.” Is this interpretation correct?
Thanks in advance and all the best,
Thanks for sharing your experience.
Lucid dreaming provides a path to ‘meet’ your self/Self — and along the way, we meet unexpected and limiting beliefs, expectations, and ideas — as well as ‘events’ that the ego mind interprets as ‘fearful’ (even though they come in “the way of health and wholeness”) — and more.
By your initial inability to ‘speak’, I think this symbolically reflects the approach-avoidance conflict about the larger awareness or the idea of surrendering (and suggests that you have some ‘fear’ in this area).
Even though “the face of the demon” (as you interpret it), “was very much like mine” (or your own face), this might have given you a clue that ‘you’ are dealing with ‘you’ — but the fear distorts the experience! So yes, I would say that there seems some belief, which you have not resolved. Finally, as experienced lucid dreamers learn: if you run away, then was has been resolved? Nothing gets resolved through the medium of fear or avoidance.
Lucid dreaming helps us learn, and helps us to develop fearlessness and trust, as we discover the actual nature of things. But for some, they may come ‘face to face’ with unarticulated beliefs, and learn that they must ‘first’ discover their beliefs, and resolve them –before they go much deeper on the lucid dreaming path.
Yes, to your final point, it sounds like it began in the Void.